SFC Michael Rodriguez (Army Special Operations, OEF Veteran)
“Terrorist attacks can shake the foundations of our biggest buildings, but they cannot touch the foundation of America. These acts shatter steel, but they cannot dent the steel of American resolve.”
Memorial — something, especially a structure, established to remind people of a person or event. It seems a bit cold when viewed through the lens of a dictionary’s pages. It does little to represent the blood, sweat, and tears of a generation prepared for the ultimate sacrifice at the hands of an evil very few understood at the time. But hadn’t we begun this battle long before those towers fell? In the early 90’s, Michael Rodriguez was 18 years old, a self-ascribed misfit as a Stinger Missile Air Defense Crewman in an infantry unit serving in Mogadishu, Somalia. The genocide was cataclysmic, the suffering apocalyptic, and the war on terrorism something not yet brought into our terminology at the moment. Wasn’t this terrorism, though? An enemy stood in direct contradiction to the desires of the people, using fear as a weapon to keep the masses under physical, psychological, and emotional control in some of the most appalling conditions this planet has ever seen. “Rod” didn’t know it yet but he was witnessing the birth of something far more sinister, an appendage that would become a wing of the Jihadi armies we are now fighting at nauseam every single day across the globe.
Rodriguez, once the oddball, would soon become a part of that elite group we call the “tip of the spear,” known as Army Special Forces or Green Berets. His visions of Somalia would always serve as a haunting reminder of the “why” in beginning his odyssey to help bring an end to a malicious foe, and an ideology that sought to destroy any semblance of personal liberty. He would become the healer/killer, an intellectual acrobat prepared to take life and save it with an absolutely elite understanding of both destruction and curative battlefield methodologies. The 18 Delta, a Special Forces Medical Sergeant, known by many as the finest first-response medical technician in the world. This was Michael’s path. Fast-forward to the present day, and Rod is once again the healer, spearheading a unique cause in his position as the President of the Global War On Terrorism Memorial Foundation. The reparative portion of this position, his duty to bring our national heroes the deserved respect by forming a living memorial structure that would encapsulate a generation that stood up to the savagery of terrorism. A calling that spanned two decades, physical wounds that would eventually end a storied career, and a rebirth as the author of our community’s legacy piece. We’ve already said enough, though. Here’s Michael Rodriguez with an education on healing. We’d like to say a special “thanks” to our sponsor, D-Dey Response Group, for ensuring Michael’s story was properly captured.
Did you grow up with aspirations of being a Green Beret?
MR: My father is a Vietnam veteran, and my grandfathers both served during World War II. I had members of my family that jumped in during D-Day. Those are my first heroes, even before I knew about Spiderman and the Punisher in the comic books (laughs). I idolized them as a child and continue to do so. The thing that struck me the most was, although they served during harsh conditions of combat, they never glamorized the war. They didn’t talk about it, but they did speak of those they served with, the men to the left and right of them. There was a certain reverence to the way they spoke. It left a significant impact on me as a child. They remembered their names, their families, and where they were from as well. They spoke of them as if they were family. I wanted to experience that too.
Where did you grow up?
MR: I was born in Deming, New Mexico, but I grew up in Las Cruces, New Mexico, and that is where a good portion of my family finds our roots, right in Southern New Mexico. There are times when I get asked, since we are of Latino descent, when my family came to the United States. They ask when we crossed the border (laughs). I tell them that we were fortunate not to have to cross the border. We lived in southern New Mexico and south Texas so as the border changed, we came to be on the side that’s in America, so the border crossed us.
What do you remember about growing up that led your path to the military?
MR: My background is very important to me, as is my heritage. We are very supportive of one another, no matter what, good or bad. Familia is everything. When I saw that my father, grandfathers, and familia had served, I believed that my family could be even bigger. I witnessed that with my family talking about those they had served with. It opened my eyes that there truly is a greater family out there other than just those that I was related to by blood. I wanted to be a part of something bigger. I love challenges...I always have. I’m the oldest of four boys in my family and we are all highly competitive. I played soccer and did some boxing growing up. I thought the military would be a good challenge. I talked with all the recruiters even though we’ve always been an Army family. I wanted to give them all a fair shake. I did my research and wanted to do more which led to my interest in Special Operations. There was a show called “World of Valor” during that time that would cover the Green Berets, Army Rangers and Navy Seals. I wanted to do all of things they did.
Michael with his son after football practice.
How was basic training for you?
MR: I was a senior in high school when Desert Storm was happening, and I graduated in 1991. I was just 16 years old. I thought about the war going on and wanted to get into the military then. I had to wait an entire year and it took some convincing to get my parents to sign the waiver so I could enlist when I was 17 years old (laughs). When I got to Basic Training, Desert Storm was pretty much over. I remember one of my basic training drill sergeants at Fort Sill was a Desert Storm veteran. Overall, I don’t think Basic Training was a culture shock for me since I had grown up in a very strict and structured environment. I actually enjoyed it and loved it.
When I went to the recruiter, he told me the truth about what I was wanting to do. When I arrived at MEPS (Military Entrance Processing Station) in El Paso, I told them that I wanted to be an Airborne Ranger because at that time you couldn’t just go into Special Forces. I joined knowing that someday I wanted to be a Green Beret. You had to be E4 promotable and a seasoned guy at that time in order to go the Green Beret route. The counselor that gave me my MOS (Military Occupational Specialty) told me they didn’t have any Ranger contracts available, but they did have an Airborne contract available. I asked her what the job was, and she told me it was a “Stinger Missile Air Defense Crewman”. She told me that when I got to Airborne school a Ranger recruiter would come around. I could transfer there.
I took the contract and did basic training and jump school. I was the first one there and they told me the Ranger recruiter was there checking people in at the door. He asked me what my MOS was and I told him. He said, “What the hell is that?” I just stood there (laughs). I had just graduated and was all proud. I told him I what my job was, and he said, “Nope don’t need you, we teach 11B’s how to fire those.” I stood there thinking about what had just happened. I was an E1, so I just turned around and left. Looking back, it was a blessing because I ended up being assigned to the 10th Mountain Division. Shortly afterwards Somalia kicked off, they told me I was going, and I got excited, but wondered where Somalia was (laughs). My geography was a bit off. They told me it was on the horn of Africa and I at least knew where that was. I deployed to Somalia as an E2, just a dumb, naive private (laughs).
How much do you think the time in Somalia changed the scope of your career?
MR: Well, I was part of the Air Defense Unit, but we were not pulling air coverage over there. I was assigned to an infantry platoon and got zero respect (laughs). I was just an extra dude. Our mission was to escort food inland after picking it up at the port in Mogadishu. We provided security to help get it to where the people were starving. It opened my eyes to what the American military really does other than just hunting down the bad guys. We were getting shot at by the bad guys, but that wasn’t the entire mission. I was just a truck driver and won’t say I did all of that.
I was a young 18-year-old at the time and saw first-hand what the American military really does. We provide hope and relief. We were helping people that were living in horrible conditions, the harshest I have ever seen. This trip set the tone for my entire career and I knew at that point that this is what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. These people were living and surviving moment to moment. There were children that had nobody because their parents were dead. They were two, three, or four years old living in huddled masses. We were providing food for them to help them get to a better tomorrow. It was a lot to really take in and process, especially at my young age.
I have been to Afghanistan and other third world countries as well, but Somalia was the most impactful for me. I have never seen anything like that since. I’m not trying to diminish the current war and issues over there, but I have never seen anything like Somalia. Human life did not carry any value whatsoever in that country, when I was there. When I close my eyes at night, I see the images of those kids. They were completely alone in the world with nothing, but every time we would show up, they would be all smiles. They would wave and be happy. It was something to see, that level of hope from these kids that had nothing.
There were kids with no hair, or their teeth were missing due to undernourishment, but they would smile and be happy. It was the most unadulterated form of happiness I have ever seen, not tied to any materialism or anything impure. It was immensely powerful and it’s hard to describe the feeling of those little faces smiling up at you. I don’t know where they are now, but I pray that they are still alive. I know that they probably are not because the vast majority of those young ones I saw more than likely died of undernourishment or some disease. It’s very haunting. I do not regret a bit of that tour. Everything that happened over there helped turn me into the hombre I am today. I don’t think I’m the best person in the world, but I know that I do the best that I can. I don’t want to have regrets. I try to find something I have learned from it and become a better person.
Did being in Somalia help train you for what you would do later in your career?
MR: I think so… I saw a SF (Special Forces) team when I was over there in Mogadishu and I could tell they were different somehow. They were just unique, and I immediately wondered who they were. I had to ask. They weren’t arrogant but just carried themselves differently. They dressed distinctly from the rest of us and patrolled with such confidence. I needed to figure out how to become part of that group. They had a pet monkey, too, which left a really lasting impression (laughs).
Fast forward a few years from that moment and I was in the 18 Delta course. There was an 18 Bravo and NSF guy there and it was his team. I was telling the story about the monkey and he laughed because that was his team. They would let the monkey loose in the chow hall and terrorize everyone. I never had a pet monkey, but I did kind of have a pet sloth in Columbia (laughs). They smell funny but are a cooler animal.
Can you tell us about a time when you saw what the mission was about or a powerful moment for you in Somalia?
MR: I think I was kind of ignorant in a way because I was never really afraid. We were occasionally getting shot at, but I didn’t think I would get hit. One of the most impactful moments among many was actually a leadership lesson on that deployment. We were taking fire and there was a squad leader that was menacing in my unit. He was a very domineering man and very large. I turned around to see him underneath a vehicle cowering and hiding. I don’t remember judging him in that moment. He was a Desert Storm vet, so I don’t know what was going on in his head at that moment. However, his fear made me become fearful because he was a role model to me.
It wasn’t the incoming rounds but the fact that he was scared. I looked up to him and knew he was scared, which made his fear contagious. That is the only time I was scared. I carried that with me up to this day. As a leader, your actions and attitudes affect others. The people around you can pick up on that. I will always remember that. I knew that if I ever became I leader, I didn’t not want to exhibit that in any way. When I became a father, I knew that I wanted to pass that lesson on to my boys. I have a 21-month-old grandson now and want him to know that as well. I will always remember that moment. I need to be a positive figure in their lives, and I have tried to do that to the best of my abilities.
Where did you go after that deployment?
MR: I went back to Fort Drum in upstate New York after Somalia. It was almost a year and a half later that I was able to deploy on “Operation Restore Democracy” in Haiti. I was part of the task force that was on the USS Eisenhower. We boarded the ship and to my knowledge that was the first time that had happened since WWII. There was an Army task force on an aircraft carrier that was ready to do some work. They put all of our birds on there and we were getting ready to invade Haiti to remove this dictator. They had recently had a democratic election, but their dictator told them “Nope! I’m still in charge.” We were just off the coast with another Special Operations vessel out there as well. The 82nd Airborne Division and Rangers were in the air circling and ready to go. In a last-ditch peace effort, some advisors were sent to talk to him. They advised him that he might want to step down because we were coming. Thankfully for the people of Haiti we didn’t have to come in fighting. I remember sitting on the aircraft carrier getting ready to go in and we had three different ROE (Rules of Engagement) cards.
There was a white one, black one and a red one. We all wanted to fight but at the last minute we didn’t get to. The capabilities of our military are phenomenal. We went in and I spent 7 or 8 months there. I ran into 3rd group SF guys while I was there. I remember thinking how lucky they were that they didn’t have to wear all the shit we had to wear (laughs). They looked comfortable and had long hair. We would go and do stuff only to find them already there. It was really cool for me to see that they were part of the local population. They spoke the language and were immersed in the populous. I was an E4 at the time and I knew those guys were making an impact. I believe in community because we are stronger together. I wanted to go to selection someday and it became even more important to me the more I witnessed the effect they had in any given area.
That was at the end of my four-year enlistment and I had my choice of duty station. I wanted to possibly get stationed close to home in Las Cruces. I ended up reenlisting for an assignment at White Sands Missile Range. I had been a Team Chief and in a leadership position and wanted to make my soldiers better than I was. I was never really an oppressive leader but wanted to make the future soldiers were better than me. At White Sands I worked for rocket scientists and fired stingers while I was there, which was pretty cool. I would shoot down BAT’s or “Ballistic Aerial Targets” or F-4 Phantom Jets which would be remotely controlled from Holloman Air Force Base. When you shoot a jet out of the sky it’s not that big ball of flames, it’s actually very anti-climactic (laughs). It pops and spins out. There was nothing there at White Sands that was challenging enough for me. I knew it was time to throw my hat in the ring and so I went to selection.
I had stayed in good shape and prepared myself. I boxed for a little bit as well. What helped me get through selection is me feeding off others’ failure or lack of preparedness (laughs). I know that sounds bad but I’m serious. I didn’t rub it in their faces. I saw them failing and knew I had to do better and be better. I would see the reasons they failed and that would empower me. I remember specifically during one of the individual events where you are told to follow the cones on a run. They don’t tell you how far you are running but just to run that route. You might run two miles, or you might run twelve miles. I would look at the person in front of me and tell myself to catch them.
Did that ultimately help you with selection?
MR: It was crazy to watch people come in unprepared for selection. There was one guy who said he did a bunch of yoga for it. No offense, but I think you need to do something else along with yoga to help better prepare yourself for something so strenuous. I do yoga today but would not use that as my primary training for selection (laughs). I was excited but nervous as well. I didn’t really know any Green Berets. I wanted to be able to perform and know that I had brought enough to the table. I wanted them to give me a chance. I was nervous as hell.
How tough was Selection for you?
MR: I tell people all the time that selection is to see if you are good enough to continue to Q course. Selection is never ending. Every day of the Q course could be your last day if you fail a test or meet a certain standard. The instructors are given the ability to decide if you’re ready or not and can release you to leave. If there is a guy that isn’t performing right or exhibiting behavior that isn’t going to work, the instructors had the authority to tell him to leave right away. The physical part is challenging but the academic is far more challenging. It’s two years long. It took me that long to train to become a Green Beret. The language school can take up to 6 months and some of those are extremely difficult.
What does it feel like to make it through the process?
MR: When you make it through, they split you up and call off your number. It started out with over 400 guys in our class and then we ended up with 60-70 guys. They told us “congratulations” and asked us to continue training. The other group that were left were told to pack their bags because they didn’t make it. I was elated but just relieved as well. When I graduated the Q-course and put my green beret on at the end of our first Regimental dinner it was humbling. It’s hard to describe that feeling.
Do you remember the first time you really felt accomplished as an 18 Delta?
MR: We were doing some medical treatments at a remote village in Afghanistan and they brought in an 8 or a 9-year-old girl. She was the size of a 5-year-old. They brought her in and told us she was possessed. When she walked in, I could tell she had some mental deficiencies. It was a reminder that hit me in the face because girls aren't treated well in the culture over there (in Afghanistan) and often treated as “less.”
She was in very bad shape and had several soft tissue injuries at various stages of healing. She was most likely abused. You could see deformities in bone structure in her hands and fingers along with her face. She was very resilient.
Her left eye was opaque from where her eyelid had split from being hit. Someone had beaten her so badly they had cracked her orbital socket. I had to divert my immense anger and rage from this father who brought me this little girl. He had complete disdain for her, and it felt as if he wanted to just give her to us. She was a burden to him. I had to quell this emotion of rage inside of me and that was difficult. I had to understand that this was how this guy was brought up and this was not abnormal treatment of a girl in this culture. I didn’t agree with it but in order to get the intelligence and get them to cooperate I had to work with him. I wanted to know why he thought the devil was in her. As I was treating her, and he told us it was because she ate dirt. I immediately recognized that she was so abused and neglected that she was vitamin deficient. She had Pica.
Pica is a condition when your body is lacking vitamins and it makes you want to eat dirt. Pregnant women have this condition sometimes when they are lacking vitamins. This little girl had pica and they just needed to feed her. I knew what it was right away. I began to treat her wounds and clean her up. I was probably showing her compassion for the very first time in her life. I gave her some prescriptions for antibiotics and vitamins too. I wanted to make sure this guy was not just going to take all this and go sell it. I pulled him aside and without grabbing him by the throat told him she had to have it. I told him I would check up on her and would be back to make sure she was doing better. It was somewhat of a veiled threat. She did get better and I saw her a few more times after that. I got to see her smile the last time I saw her. I look back at that and it hits me hard. I pray to God that she is alive, but I know chances are she isn’t.
This was immensely impactful because I had to figure out what was going on in that situation. I not only used my medical training, but I also used our mission statement of how we operate as well. If I had gone off on that man who was the village elder, it would have had damaging consequences for our mission. It would have more than likely turned an entire region against us. You have to have the ability to see the long-term effects of your actions as a Green Beret and how your decisions can impact an entire region or country. It was a day I will never forget, that little girl is never far from my thoughts.
Are you using the skill set of a medic and also one of a diplomat in those situations?
MR: I believe that we are tactical diplomats in those situations, and I loved it. After I got out, I decided to go to College to expand my understanding of our National Policy. I received a bachelor’s degree in Strategic Studies and Defense Analysis and continued on to get my Master of Arts in Diplomacy with a concentration in International Conflict Resolution. I wanted to understand why we do the things we do because I had seen failed foreign policy firsthand. I figured out that it’s more about how the policy is implemented. If you don’t understand it and you get someone who thinks they know, but they don’t actually know how to implement it, then it fails. They have to understand the cultures and the people in order for it to work. Some people are so focused on policy and writing new ones instead of actually fixing the issue. The veteran community does the same things too. Policy can change with the flip of a pen. Long term victories are cultural in nature.
The average Special Forces guy sees the long-term picture and we have over 70 years of institutional knowledge. If you want to make a long-term positive impact you have to understand it’s going to take a long time to do that. You need to communicate effectively to the people of the indigenous area and the people of your own country. People fall short in their contingency planning due to the assumption of their plan absolutely working no matter what. One of the things Mike Tyson has said is, “Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face.” I see it now in the work I’m doing with the civilian market and people thinking their ideas are the best ones. They don’t really plan for failure whether it's in the for profit or nonprofit areas. I have carried that lesson with me to this day.
What was your second deployment to Afghanistan like for you?
MR: There have been moments that I have shared that were terrible. I also have those that were the most joyous in my life, second only to the birth of my sons being born. I loved my job and what I did. My second deployment was a little bit different since I had more responsibility going into it. It was very different with our mission in the region that we were in. I am a Green Beret first, before a medic. I was also one of the snipers on the team. We wear so many different hats being Green Berets. I managed all of the Operations fund and our money. I had to go out every few weeks and sign for $600,000 cash or more. It depended on the project that we were doing. It involved a lot of accounting, which was a nightmare (laughs). That deployment was good, and I knew that it would be my last with my ODA because I had been picked up to become an instructor at the JFK Special Warfare Center. We as SF guys know that we have to come back and instill our skills in the next generations war fighters. I believe it is our duty to go back and teach to share what we have learned.
I received my most significant injury on that deployment. We were conducting a combat patrol and went to knock on some bad dude’s door. We were on our way and crossing a dangerous area. I rode an ATV and the convoy was moving across a certain sector, usually two of the senior guys would ride the ATV’s. We would fan out on the ATV’s because that provided flexibility. I was in close proximity to the detonation of an IED that was targeted at one of our Afghan vehicles. We were fortunate that it only jacked me up a bit. It rang their bell as well and the only one hurt that day to my knowledge was me. I got my bell rung and everything was pretty hazy after that. One of the guys came running up and asked if I was alright. I told him I was fine so that we could continue the mission. There was another IED that hadn’t gone off that we identified later. It was a long day. I lost vision in my left eye for about 5 months. I didn’t lose my eye but now wear a special prosthetic lens that allows me to see clearly. This is why my eyes aren’t the same color.
There were a few more instances after that where I got my bell rang again. One instance I got hit by an Afghan vehicle. We were driving through the streets and an Afghan truck and I would pull up blocking positions for the convoy in the city of Jalalabad. One day they ran into me and thank goodness their truck hood was level with the 4-wheeler, so I just went through the windshield. I had my helmet on (laughs). I remember waking up and thinking, “The convoy is still moving. We’ve got to get out of here!”
Shortly after, I was involved in a rollover where I fractured my maxilla and front part of my face. We were chasing a guy and I ended up in a ditch. I had three pretty significant brain injuries in a matter of a few weeks. I knew it was bad but there was only six - seven weeks left in the deployment. I wanted to stay and no one else on my team knew what was going on. I was the senior medic on the team and ended up self-treating. I didn’t tell the junior on my team. I tell the story now and people think it’s so cool that I stayed in the fight with my injuries. It’s really not. I try to tell them that I’m nothing special. The best analogy I can come up with is to imagine they are 8 years old and playing a game of kickball. You are just killing it during this kickball game until all of a sudden you fall down and skin your knee. Do you run home and cry to mama? You’re having an awesome game of kickball so you just get back up and keep playing. That's what I did. It was a different game but that was how I looked at it. Nobody knew and I was able to hide some of the injuries until they began to manifest themselves later in my career.
I seem to have made a career of brain injuries, TBI, and they always have a cumulative effect. I knew I was going to be a sniper instructor and thought I would be okay. However, as an instructor, I was around a lot of explosives and high pressure in small closed in places, so I had a few more concussions while I was there. I was still fighting and training with guys as well. We would spar and they would always kick the hell out of me. I continued down that path of “I’m fine,” until finally something happened in front of command. They wanted to know what was going on. It was a big “come to Jesus” moment for me. I told them what had been going on and I was having seizures at one point. I would be on the line teaching students on the sniper course and sense it coming on. I’d tell them I would be right back and go sit in my truck. It was nothing huge but a small seizure where I would just close my eyes until it ended. I would take a deep breath and make sure no one saw me then go back out to continue teaching.
I was living this lifestyle and trying to hide it. I was also drinking more and falling apart. The command noticed and sent me to get checked out. The neurological injuries were significant for me. I was having balance issues and my speech was shifting quite a bit as well. I go to speech therapy now because of the traumatic brain injuries. I learned again how to put the words together in my head before I say them. I’m not the best at doing that anymore and have my own challenges due to those injuries. I left Walter Reed with 17 different diagnoses. It was everything from early-onset Parkinson’s, headaches, and so many things going on upstairs. They told me I could have early onset dementia and Alzheimer’s as well. It was when they read me those things and told me I could no longer perform my duties as a Green Beret that it hit me. They were going to initiate the medical retirement proceedings. It was in that moment that I wondered who I was. I knew I was a father but identified myself as a Green Beret, and I’d be losing all of that.
Did it feel like you had lost your identity?
MR: I felt like I was losing my identity and I think everyone goes through something similar. It’s not just veterans who go through these types of transitions. When you lose something that is so precious that you have done your entire adult life it becomes an identity issue. It’s important for veterans and civilians to remember that when something like that happens that it’s not all you are. My service in the military helped create me and my unique station in life. I’m so much more than just that. It was something I did but it doesn’t define me. It’s in the past.
I wholeheartedly believe that we are defined daily by our actions, not by a job, rank, or some award. When you wake up every day you are going to be defined by what you choose to do that day. If you live a good, positive life then you will make a significant impact. You could have the greatest career and have something crazy happen to change that. What will you be remembered for then? I think of O.J. Simpson often in this case (laughs). Everyone at any given time has the power to make a positive or negative impact. My squad leader hiding under the Humvee all those years ago had that opportunity as well.
What happened during your last deployment?
MR: I have told this story a couple of times. We would do medical civic action projects and that would provide us an opportunity to go into areas of Afghanistan that were not always friendly. We would engage with the local health care professionals when we did that. We wanted to work with the locals including the village elders. It was a big team and community building project to get them on our side. If we were in an area and had intel about some bad guys being there we would go by. We would probably go knock on their door and this was one of those instances. You have to segregate who you would treat during these MEDCAP’s. I abused my status and told them that I was going to take care of the women and children while they could treat the men. I was treating children that day and we had a large group of other health care providers there as well. There were other combat medics and a couple of US docs with us that day too. They brought this woman in with her husband. The only time you see them together is if there is a child. They brought me this little baby.
I thought to myself that this baby had just been born, because you could still smell the afterbirth. I could see the mother's clothes had stains on them and she was still bleeding. We were prepared for that. The baby was blue and taking very shallow breaths. I did what I had to do to take care of this baby and spent about 20 minutes doing that. This was a lot of time to spend with one patient and generally that didn’t happen during a MEDCAP. We could generally see 50 - 80 patients in one day by not spending long amounts of time with each one. You have a team and you’re not alone. The team works like a well-oiled machine if it’s put together correctly and that was one of my responsibilities. I spent the 20 minutes with this child and felt that it was my baby that I loved. I always treated everyone as if they were part of my family. I would treat them without any preconceived notions or judgement, they were just part of my family. I helped the baby get back to breathing, warmed him up and he was kicking like a happy baby does. I swaddled the baby with a Winnie the Pooh blanket and just fell in love in that moment.
I helped feed him and get some formula since the mother was malnourished. I gave her bottles and told her if she needed anything to come back. They left and I continued to treat patients because they had been my first patient of the day. I had some work that night and then the next day we were leaving town. When we were driving away and I was on the ATV, I saw the Winnie the Pooh blanket in the window being used as a curtain. I had only given one Winnie the Pooh blanket away that day. In my mind I wondered what the hell they were doing using that blanket for the window. I pulled over because I knew I could catch up since I was on the ATV. I had to check on this.
I walked over to the hut and see the mother and the father sitting side by side. They looked over at me and recognized me from the day before. They just looked at the ground and I looked over in the corner to see a little figure swaddled in cloth. They had traditions that they were following. The baby was lying in the corner not moving. There was nothing that needed to be said or could have been said. I left in that moment feeling immensely hopeless. I just don’t have the words to describe what I felt. I walked out and got back on the ATV that was still running to get back to the compound. It was a very long ride back. When I close my eyes at night, I still see those little ones that I came in contact with.
Do you have any regrets in doing what you did overseas?
MR: I consider it such a blessing to be able to help and provide. I may not have been the best person for it, but I had the opportunity. People overlook opportunities every single day. You are given them each day and it’s all about what you do with them. I could have very easily not done anything in that moment. The baby could have possibly lived if it had been someone other than me helping. It’s not about regret but it’s how I process and get through it. We all are faced with adversity and can grow from it. Everyone is facing something. Pain is something that everyone deals with in some form. They are facing something whether it's physical, emotional or anything else.
When I left Walter Reed I was sent to an in-patient hospital. It was in-patient to help handle my post-traumatic stress and chemical dependency. I was locked in with no shoelaces in my shoes and locked doors. I’m not ashamed of that because it was what I needed in order to deal with the shadows I had. When I was there, one of my doctors told me that he knew I was in pain. He told me that he knew I had many physical injuries to deal with but if I was suffering it was because I chose to do so. It was a turning point in my life. I knew he was right. The pain, adversity, and obstacles in my life were controlling me at that point. I never fully accepted my situation and fully faced it.
I couldn’t face it or fight it because of that. This fight was one that only I could fight. The people who love me couldn't do it. The baggage I was carrying was controlling me and I saw it as another challenge I had to face. It changed me and was a huge reset. I stopped being so judgmental like everyone else and began to see people differently. I would see people dealing with issues and would listen to them and not judge them. I may not agree with them, but I could listen. I was not in their head, heart or skin. I wonder when it became a bad thing to feel things in our society. If I didn’t feel anything for all the things I have witnessed and done, then I would probably be a sociopath.
The job we are required to do sometimes causes you to have to separate the emotion. I think we need to address it and bring it up. It’s a normal human emotion. When you hear someone give a speech or talk and it’s something, they are passionate about they generally tear up. What is it they always do? They always say, “I’m sorry.” Everyone has probably done that at some point in their life. I want people to look at it from the other side. Has anyone ever apologized for being happy? It’s a normal human emotion too. We don’t apologize for that. When someone feels compassion or hurt and then acknowledges it, it is completely normal. It’s being a human. It’s okay to feel those emotions. I am stronger now because I can acknowledge it and it does not make me weak. Vulnerability is a way of connecting with others, it is the foundation of human connection. It’s not a weakness. I think that people today always try to be tough and strong and it’s all fake. I am very compassionate, but I also know what I bring to the table. It is almost a “cool to be cruel” mentality now. I don’t think that has ever been cool. When I did something as a Green Beret it wasn’t in a rage or going berserk. I will get far more done with focused violence than I will with blind aggression.
How has art impacted you and your life?
MR: I was exposed to art when I was in the hospital by my art Therapist Melissa Walker. She was the one who introduced me and I’m not sure how she had the patience to do so (laughs). It was part of the treatment protocol there at the hospital. When she told me that we were going to do art therapy I was thinking, “What the hell?” I thought it was some hippie-dippy stuff (laughs). But I’m a good soldier and knew I had to follow through with direction. I didn’t want to cause any waves. I had to paint a mask and a collage. The second I started to paint the mask it was as if I was looking at myself in the face. You are able to tell yourself things that you couldn’t find words for. You can process them and look at yourself in the mirror. It’s hard sometimes to look at yourself like that. It just blew my mind and took my blinders off.
The power of art was eye opening. I realized art is pretty much everything we do, and everyone is an artist in some fashion. I am a very passionate person. I knew that all the things I was good at in my life was a form of art. I was a sniper for a long time and that was my art. If you put me behind a scope, I threw everything into my art, and I was far more capable by doing so. Art is a beautiful thing and a form of communication. We have cave paintings that date back years and years before the written word. Art has an immense power to convey a thought and express an emotion which isn’t always possible with words. Some of our greatest artists were going through their own “personal version of hell” at the time they did their greatest work. I love Edgar Allen Poe and his writings. He was struggling every day of his life but was able to craft poetry. I love to read his works and do it very slow so I can figure out what he meant. Picasso and DaVinci were some of the most impactful artists who ever lived. It blew my mind on what the power of art could do. I was agnostic to art but am blessed to see it for what it is.
What was it like to be painted by the man who sent you to war?
MR: George W. Bush is one of the most talented artists I have encountered. “Portraits of Courage” is his collection of paintings. He selected veterans that he knew to paint for this book. If you don’t have it, you need to check it out. Cedric Huckabee, an artist in the Dallas/Fort Worth area had told President Bush to paint the faces that nobody knows. President Bush has spoken extensively about this and said he would paint the vets. He sat down and chose 98 images of vets to paint. I was selected to be painted because I have a personal friendship with the gentleman. It’s crazy to think that but he's a close friend. We all love him and shame on you if you don’t (laughs). He holds two events every year with wounded veterans and that is how I met him in 2014. There is a bike ride at his home as well as a golf tournament in Dallas. Every one of us had participated in one of those events. The paintings were a secret passion project of his. They took stock footage from the event photos and those were the images he painted. I remember exactly where he got my image from. I had to do an interview for the Bush Center.
I remember going there and had bought an inexpensive shirt from Men’s Wearhouse for it. I was wearing that exact shirt when I did the interview. No one knew he was doing this other than his family and close staff. He had a big pile of paintings at his art studio in Dallas. I remember the first time he told me was in December of 2015. I saw him in New York at an event where he was announcing he would co-chair with Prince Harry for the Invictus Games. He had me go up and we were talking. He told me that he had just finished painting me. I had just been in his studio and I didn’t know what to say.
He told me my mom would like it. I am still in that moment (laughs). It was such an incredible and humbling honor to have that man paint me. He painted a bunch of us. It is the number one selling art book of all time which is pretty cool. He wrote an essay about some of us in the book as well. You can download the audible book of him reading each essay as you look at the painting of each person. It’s amazing and makes it all come alive. I have to warn people that there are some very powerful stories in there that will make you feel things. It was Winston Churchill that inspired him to paint. He knew that Churchill painted and thought if he did it so could he. He’s a better painter than Churchill, honestly (laughs).
Michael with Cecilia (President and Founder) and Don Deyo of D Dey Response Group.
Michael speaks with Don and Cecilia Deyo (D-Dey Response Group)
Can you talk about what you are doing now with the Global War on Terrorism Memorial?
MR: I honestly don’t know how I got here (laughs). People tell me all the time they want to do what I do. I don’t even know what I do. Sometimes I end up in rooms where I wonder how the hell I got there. I have the underserved honor of being the President and Chief Executive Officer of the Global War on Terrorism Memorial Foundation. We are the Congressionally designated nonprofit that is tasked with building a National Global War on Terrorism Memorial in Washington D.C. alongside the Vietnam Wall. We successfully passed a Bill in 2017 which exempted us from a law that stated a war had to be over for 10 years before a National War Memorial could be built. President Trump signed the National Global War on Terrorism Memorial Act in August of 2017 which officially handed us at the foundation the mission.
Anybody could have done it, but we became the Congressionally designated non-profit at that point to build, fundraise and do whatever it took to do it. There are a lot of rules that must be followed in the process. I was approached to join the foundation board in 2016, I took over as President and CEO in 2018 and it’s such an honor to be in this role. I have learned a lot. We have built a team capable of succeeding in getting this done. There are three things I look for in building a team. I look for ability because everyone can help but I need to know you are able. If I get a call from someone wanting to be on the board, I want to know what they bring to the table. The second thing is credibility. Some people don’t work well with others and that is not what I am looking for with this group.
Michael speaks with Don and Cecilia Deyo (D-Dey Response Group)
I’m a quality over quantity guy. That’s how I was trained and how I do business. The third thing would be humility because you need to understand what this mission is about. Why are you doing this? It is not an opportunity to stand next to something shiny and get some of it on you. If you are part of the team you are going to work and contribute. I respect everyone's accomplishments in the past and what they have done. I want to know what you can do today and what your ideas are. I ask them why and most have a reason. I also ask them what they’re going to do to make us better. Those three things are all built on a foundation of trust. If you look at our team you will see, we have some amazing individuals.
I try to surround myself with smart people. I listen to everybody because I believe they all have something to add. I know that ultimately, I have to make certain decisions on what is presented to me and not everyone will agree. However, it would be arrogant and naive of me to think that I can do it alone, but you need the right team with the right skill-set. I explain to people who sometimes disagree with me that If I went on a Sniper Observer mission, I would take my sniper partner. You choose those that are best fit for the job. They might have skills, but you need to have the right people with the right skills. If you hide your ignorance especially in combat situations, that ignorance will get people killed. I’m not ashamed to admit my ignorance (laughs). I have seen people do it and I refuse to be part of that. I’m that guy in the back of the room that if I don’t get it, I'll ask for it to be explained. I have stopped several meetings to figure out what the hell someone was saying. I work alongside some brilliant minds who have extensive knowledge, so I always take the opportunity to learn from them and ensure I am picking up what they are putting down.
Michael presents Don and Cecilia Deyo with a piece of the World Trade Center, a piece he gives to honor those who’ve served in the greatest capacities.
At the GWOT Memorial Foundation, we are in a 24-step process to build the memorial. We are on steps 9-12 which is site selection. Even with the robust and incredible team we have, I felt it was naive to think we knew it all. I charged our contracting firm to develop some discussion groups to collect quantitative and qualitative data from the American people. I wanted to find out if the memorial should have shrubbery, a fountain, a flagpole, how big it should be, and what people thought. What should it say? This is going to be a piece of functional art and take on a life of its own. I know that we cannot make everyone happy. We conducted discussion groups and spoke with Blue Star Families and Gold Star Families. We also spoke with religious faith leaders. We spoke to the greater part of our population of those who had never served. We also had conversations with our key stakeholders.
We conducted three days of discussions with active duty service members. We had peer groups, junior and senior NCO’s, officers, and enlisted soldiers. Over just those three days we spoke with 66 active service members. Those 66 individuals represented almost 800 years of service and 200 deployments. We gathered all this data. Reading everyone’s responses was immensely empowering. The American people are such a broad tapestry due to different beliefs, values, and cultural foundations. There are so many labels that people choose to identify with here. It was amazing how similar everyone's replies were to the same questions we asked, both open ended and closed. It was phenomenal. We are all different and that is what makes us so strong, but only Americans think like Americans. They told us where they wanted the memorial, what it should say, and what it should look like. We could not have received those answers if we had collected that data internally.
Rodriguez shows Don and Cecilia Deyo possible locations for the GWOT Memorial.
What are the next steps?
MR: We are currently working on site selection. H.R. 5046 was introduced on 12 Nov 2019, this Bill identifies 3 sites within the Reserve on the national mall. It was introduced by two GWOT Veterans in Congress Representatives Crow and Gallagher. This Memorial has no precedence just like the war has no precedence. We are in a multi-generational conflict with no clearly forecasted end in sight. When I say multi-generational that really hit home for me. Two years ago, when my oldest son who is an infantryman in the 82nd airborne deployed to Afghanistan. He is a big 6’, 200 plus lb. freedom fighter that is stronger and better than I ever was. His mother and I hugged him before he left before he got in the bird to go Afghanistan in Helmand Province. I hugged him and he turned around to pick up his rucksack to walk to the bus. I didn’t see that version of him. I saw him as a little toddler walking away. It broke me in half. We are not a special family because there are thousands just like us.
I deployed nine times throughout my career and my most difficult ones were watching my loved ones deploy. That was so difficult and took on a whole new emotion. I could not have done my job had I not been supported by my family while I was overseas. I knew they loved me no matter what. It’s like that for all military families especially a military child. My wife and I did not encourage our son to enlist; that was his decision. We never encourage or discourage. That is a personal decision everyone who serves has to make. Everyone has to make it on their own. He knows more than most because I lost a lot of friends. He grew up seeing my friends that were lost and didn’t come home. The kids talk and he’s seen the price. I want people to understand that I am not judging anyone for not serving. Patriotism can be exhibited many different ways. It doesn't always mean raising your right hand and joining the military. It doesn't mean picking up a gun and going into harm's way. There are so many other ways to be a good American citizen. Be a good person, pay your taxes, respect the police, and vote. It is such an undeserved honor to be part of this truly profound project. I believe we all share a sacred to duty to honor those women and men that stepped forward to face terror.
What is most important to you and your legacy?
MR: I hope people at the end of the day, know that I did my best. I want them to see that I was a good grandfather, father and Hermano to many. The most important job I have right now is being a positive male role model in my son’s and grandson’s life. That is more important to me than anything.
You can hear it in his speech even with the familial, cultural attachments to the verbiage he uses. “Hermano, hermanito, mijo, familia”, are of the utmost importance in Rod’s life. Spend even five minutes with Rodriguez, and you’ll quickly realize that it’s truly all about his faith and family. He’s not one to overly concern himself with the opinions of the outside world, or immerse himself in places that would grant him larger audiences. Yet, he’s doing some of the more vital work of our generation. He’s constructing the Global War On Terrorism’s lasting tribute to the generation’s war-fighter, a space that will tragically grow in perpetuity. Our battle on terrorism will most likely always continue, due to the existence of a fanatical ideology that truly can’t be destroyed. However, men like Michael give you a faith and understanding of a warrior that will never stop fighting; always pounding on the enemy’s door more than willing to destroy. To the outside civilian observer, it might be difficult to understand destruction as a healing tool but to those who fight at the tip of the spear; this realization has always been foundational to the culture. Until that last threat of evil and terror is completely annihilated, only a vapid memory of past tribulations; men like Rodriguez will stand ready at the blood-wall.
We’d like to thank our sponsors, D-Dey Response Group, for supporting Michael’s project. Check them out at d-dey.com for all of your elite, medical training solutions. Check them out on Instagram: @d_deyresponsegroup and Facebook: @ddeyresponsegroup. Make sure to check out the Global War On Terrorism Memorial Foundation as well at gwotmemorialfoundation.org, on Instagram: @gwotmf, and on Facebook: @gwotmf.